This morning my son woke up not feeling very well… I checked him once… I checked him twice…. my mom gut was “ify”….. I went through all the “can’t go to school” check off list…and fever was the highest on the list. He did not have any fever. I looked into his eyes… and they always tell …oh…so much! I did not see any impending warnings…. so , off to school we went!
About 11:30 or so … I got the call. As you , know I teach 3rd grade , so it is not like I can just drop what I am doing and go get him. Well, to make this short and get on with the story… I got him home… on Rx , cough drops and syrup. My heart is smiling … because as the day went on I, too, began to feel under the weather and took as much Fast Max Mucinex as he did…. So with , two steaming cups of Ginseng Honey/ Lemon hot tea and a nap later…. I feel like I, too , am coming back to life.
I have a few minutes this afternoon, so I wanted to write out what I am finding that God… will NOT let me get away with!
It may seem like a party… it feels good ,at time,s to want to wallow… however!
It is a slippery slope…. It is a destructive destination….. It is an easy trap to fall into. Sometimes I think, “WHY do I have to be the one? Lord, this hurts. I don’t want to go through surgery…I don’t want to be trusted so much!~ I am tired of being strong…Why can’t I just go back to being normal?Waaahhhhh! ”
As I spent the afternoon on the couch… I came across this beautiful verse…
“That you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.”
I would love for that to be one of my “compass” verses for this season… and ALL seasons for that matter , of my life.
It is a walk… and in order to WALK… one must put one foot in front of the other. It is not for my own heart to discern the way. ~
I think of Noah… he built an ARK! I am sure it was back breaking! I am sure he slammed his thumb with the hammer a time or two
…..and I wonder if he wondered…. ”What ? Why am I doing this?…No one else is having to do this..”
He must have been the brunt of every joke on the street corners
…….He went on to save mankind through the flood.
I think of Joseph…. he was actually THROWN into a PIT and sold into slavery by his brothers …. thrown into prison unjustly!
I wonder what he thought as he was sitting in that hard prison cell….. “Why am I here? This is so UNFAIR!” ….. He was so full of character
…he did not have time for self pity… He used it as an opportunity to BE who God created him to be
….He went on the LEAD Egypt and save his family.
…. IT IS NOT UP FOR MY HEART TO DICERN THE WAY……
On Sunday… one of the pastors at church talked about JOY!…even through hardships….~ I think for the most part , I have wrestled with my plight…and have found my Savior to be so personal to me! I really wouldn’t want to trade this valley or struggle…because then I would miss out on ALL that He is.
BUT… I DO have those self pity moments…..just this last week…. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and disappear. I wondered … why have this blog? Why the joy? Who cares? Then… Sunday. The message was for everybody… but to me, it was a direct command to STAY the course…It was as though He was saying…” DO NOT GO THERE! Do not entertain those murky thoughts…. It will take you to the PIT! Then, you will not have the energy to dwell in Me and radiate or experience ALL that I AM ”
OK… as if that wasn’t enough…..so get this~ a mom of one of my former students in Boca Facebook messaged me and… said that her son just got back from a mission trip from South Africa. He is a pastor and mentioned me in his sermon, yes, on SUNDAY!. ~ Because of Facebook, he knows what is going on in my life. She said he stated that I was ”not giving into self pity, but using it to bring glory to God!” I chuckle…. the Lord is fighting for me.
The Lord will not let me dip my toe in the self pity puddle!!
I came across this verse today… too.
It is in Exodus 14:14 ”The Lord will fight for you: you need only to be STILL.”
I find it a fabulous verse to find on the day I am home early from the classroom with my ….feet up…hoarding the hot tea…. and tissues!
So, I will prayerfully place one foot in front of the other and navigate the pity puddles …the murky mud…the slimy pit….
I don’t know what is going on in your life…..if you have something going on that is leading you into the pit… maybe you are reading this for a reason…a direct revelation….of…..YOU do NOT belong there!
CHIN UP , friend!It is going to be alright! He has a reason and a purpose for your life!
….He can do great and mighty things ..which you do not know!