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Monthly Archives: December 2013

Christmas Reflections taken from the WORD “STABLE”…What a COMFORT!

AS I woke up from the fog of surgery…. I heard snippets of my surgeon’s voice…telling my husband how things went. He said ONE word that triumphed all other words….”STABLE”. She was stable through the whole process… Fears vanished into air and  I knew that I could go on into my medicated state… at rest with the world.

Chuck told me he was able to get updates through the surgery by phone from the nurse….Lauren…She told him 3 hours into the process that everything was “stable”…  So…stable… was not NEW news to him. He knew how things were all along until he hit about 3:30 and there was not any more news until late that evening. That must have been hard!

I am happy to be  on the other side of surgery and now with  Christmas just behind us, too….I can  sit and contemplate a few things… with the computer on my lap, fire in the fire-place and  my favorite blanket on my lap..((.Thanks, KIM! 😉  Plus coffee courtesy of my DAD!))

So, back to the word  STABLE.

Being a teacher… I love WORDS~ I love the use of words…I love puns on words I just can’t help it.

The word STABLE has hit me. ~ STA-BLE

Stable can be 3 parts of speech..it is a noun, a verb and an adjective.

Sta-ble

1. Noun: a building by which domestic animals are sheltered and fed.

2. verb : to put or keep in a stable, to dwell in …hmmmm…

3. adjective: firmly established, not changing or fluctuating, steady in purpose, firm resolution not subject to insecurity or emotional illness

I remember all of the stories and “possibilities” that swamped my thoughts the months before surgery. I was reminded of them again the hour before they started began to cut me open….as the parades of professionals  came to speak to Chuck and I… it was really un-nerving. But, they have to give the info. They were so professional and great!

I had a couple of  options… I could panic and run … or, I could trust the physicians that are knowledgeable in their field and REST…knowing that they know what they are doing. I chose the latter. 😉 I hardly got out the door and I was out like a light.

Now, being on the other side of surgery… and on the other side of the calm, beautiful day of Christmas… I still have “STABLE” on my brain.

Every time I get up …. I have that word wobbling around somewhere….”all right…..Stable….Stable…you can do this…stable ..on foot in front of the other…..”

When they took the tumor…they took the balance mechanism in the right side of the brain so I have to be able to compensate as time goes by. I will never forget …the first time I got to get up. It was a grand trip to the bathroom. yes, a MAJOR success! Everything seemed unsteady…insecure…and fearful.  Every time I got a “new” nurse… I had to explain to her that it was OK for her to STAY IN the bathroom with me. Just the comfort of her VOICE, her  touch ….her presence help really helped!!

It ” moved” me along… ha ha…couldn’t resist!~ I could have been very prideful… and pushed her out…but the comfort of knowing she was there was priceless….

THAT’S IT!!!! That…. is like the STABLE!

My nurse… PHYSICALLY with me.

OUR GOD…. PHYSICALLY  with me and US! His voice…. “Do not be afraid…I am here…I love you… You are going to be alright!”

He is GOD Emmanuel… God WITH US! I want so much for God to stay IN my WORLD WITH me.  Don’t you?

The “stable” of life  can be a very prideful place… we want to DO IT all on our own…We don’t need anyone or anything…As I reflect,  I can just sit and close my eyes in beauty because I did not resist her help or her loving care. She did not FORCE ME to receive it…. It just beautifully came. …and I received.

I know I could turn on the TV at any moment and get back to the chaos of the world…it will not stop. Satan knows he is on a timeline and he knows it is getting shorter . He wants to STEAL your STABLE…He wants to put you in a place of PRIDE so you are so unable to receive what is offered in the STABLE. I can’t think of a better way for a TRUE King to Come into the World …than through a low…humble stable. He is HIGH and LIFTED UP!

He has come to breath the beauty of life into the stench of DEATH…conquering it ….FOREVER!

Thanks for letting me contemplate my new word….How I loved hearing the word…”Stable” just coming out of surgery from the lips of my surgeon!

How I love peering into the “STABLE” living in a world that is nothing but…and finding my GOD

right HERE with me…through the POWer of the resurrection …and the Holy Spirit.

“Take Heart… For I Have overcome the WORLD!~ John 16:33 … That is straight from the Healer’s LIPS… the Greatest Physician of ALL~

NOW… that is STABLE!

 

 

 

(more…)

Today….7 , well actually 6…. days POST OP!

Greetings Once Again!~  I vividly remember my last entry on Monday night in the hotel room..

… a final farewell to Mr. Tomb-er and a fun poem…”Twas the Night Before Brain Surgery”…..(THAT was Chuck’s idea I have to say!)

There is so much to say… I will try to be selective.

 

As I laid my head on the pillow that night…I was SO ready…! I think I woke up every hour looking at the clock~ At one of the hours.. Something in my spirit compelled my to say….”Open the eyes to my heart , Lord!” I want to see you!”~  I was a little baffled and wondered ….. was that  all? Was that all Lord that you wanted to whisper to me??… He let me go sweetly back to sleep until 4 something. Chuck and I prayed as we went out of the door…and left for Vanderbilt.

I was soon in the pre-op room…. I was given a beautiful XL purple gown to wear….! It hooked up to a hose that made me  blow it up like a grape! I was “grapeful!” I am always cold… The door kept opening with a new face that tried to remember,,,, They were my critical team … and they were very precise… direct and to the point with their information. They asked a lot of questions….. after poking …examining and marking me… I was ready for the “see you later juice”…. I barely remember getting rolled out of the door…..

17 hours later….it was over. At 1 in the morning, I was rolled into my NICU 6644 room. To be honest….I just remember this “orange” blur.. passing across my face…and Chuck’s voice…. I do not remember what he said….

From there….a lot is a blur…but I do remember some significant things…!

I remember the constant care of Chuck…his presence…I knew his smile was in the room…

I remember the beauty of my nurse… her voice and touch. I was so nauseated coming out of surgery…I could not keep the IV down…or anything that I tried to drink….She was an angel to me…. She crunched up the medicines in apple sauce… all night long…..she came in and I did not even mind she kept waking me up…shining lights in my eyes and asking me my name…and where I was…

I remember this very TIGHT bandage on my head…It made me feel secure!~  At one point… I think it was 4:40 or so…. I had my first personal revelation that I had made it thru… I felt my neck…..”I am alive!”…. I looked at the clock…. “ok”…moment of truth….”SMILE , WANDA! smile!…. I GRINNED the biggest grin up to the clock…and all functions WORKED!” I was astounded…happy…. grateful…. amazed… 17 hour surgery…a tumor the size of a plum…and I had my face! ~ I was braced for a whole bunch of complications for up to a year!~ All melted away…all fell into praise!

Let me just say… and I will close…As the surgeon sat on my bed and gave the beautiful report…I had point out  to him specifically … ALL the prayers that were said on this/ his  behalf…. he said he could FEEL the prayers in the OR. He said it was a “dream surgery and all was “stable”…. ~ There is still so much to say… maybe I can bore you with the details later…. He had a glowing report of such surgery success….

I remember telling many people that this “tumor” has become a “gift” for me on so many different levels…~ a gift to share the love of Christ…a gift to share” HIS STABLE”….but, I never DREAMED it could ever become a mountain top experience of walking through the valley… and seeing the Lord HIGH and LIFTED UP! I am still baffled by that…ONLY a LIVING God…a loving God can do such miracles…even in the face of adversity!

My Morning whisper from the hotel… came true…. “I  got/get to see the Lord… High and Lifted UP (( and those around me , too!) …. My heart can hardly contain all of its abundance .. and wonder…..! I have a ways to go…. from what I hear it will take patience and time.

My wonderful neighbor came and brought a spread of breakfast!~ I feel so loved on and blessed!

Until next time…

 

Twas’ the Night before Brain Surgery….

Twas’  the night before  surgery

and here we are in Nashville.

 

 

We are  in a hotel room,

Oh, what a thrill.

 

The children are home all nestled in up their bed,

hoping that their mom doesn’t  end up… dead. (ha ..ha… it rhymed… just go with it)

 

The luggage was hung by the door with  extra care,

4:00 am will come  soon… we have to prepare….

 

Chuck has his Ipad and snacks galore,

It will be a long day… oh, what  a bore.

 

Wanda packed her special blanket and stuffed animals , too

Don’t poke fun… she might be a little “blue”.

 

On…Thompson, on Haynes …on nurses and techs…

they will all make sure that  everything  checks….

 

to the OR  … to surgery…to  the NICU- hall…

Now…Dash away…Dash away…Dash away…all!

 

And then in a twinkling, Wanda will go to sleep…

the tumor will come out without even a peep.

 

Chuck will be waiting and will text all our friends…

as soon as soon as the surgery has come to an end.

 

See you on the “other side of tomorrow”…

 <3   Chuck and Wanda

 

 

 

 

Dear “Tomb-er”,

Dear Mr. Tomb-er,

      I am excited to inform you that your days of  mooching are OVER!  You have been allowed to be a parasite for far too long. You have latched onto my very last nerve and I am about to expel you from the premises.  Yes… you have gotten fat , ugly and  way too comfortable. You have created mayhem in my head, but not in my heart. You have made things very uncomfortable and you have made me adjust to a new normal. But, tomorrow? You will be history! I wonder where you will go….?? The dump is too good for you. Putting you with scum on top of the pond scum is not fitting. …even toxic waste is too good for your kind. You are a jerk for showing up the night before school started…. just saying.

    I am not happy about you taking residence in my brain. However, I would not trade this experience for the world. It has taught me so much about my Creator. I have found that He is in the BIG picture  …and He is in the smallest of details. He is as close as my next breath.  Nothing can come into my life with out being filtered through His hands first. So, I consider you a “gift”…  not because you are anything special….but because gave it to me to discover ALL that He is… ALL the treasures that are hidden in Him.  I am living out ….and watching Scritpture come alive. “ALL things do come together for those who love God….” 

I love in Isaiah 43:2 where it says…..

” When you pass through the waters , I will be with you: And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scortch you.”

I totally feel like I have walked through the fire and I totally feel carried!  ((by the way, you are about to be toast!))

…I love the POWer Christ brings!  ((and you are about to be knocked out!)) Yes, I am gloating.

When we have Christ living in us … we have the same power……the same POWer that raised Jesus from the dead!  I do not see how people who do not have a relationship with Jesus live in this world…. (Well, yes… I actually can… have you seen the evening news lately?) 

I would love to take this opportunity to encourage  anyone who has Christ to go DEEPer with Him and take Him at His word. If I had not ardently sought out my relationship…with the Lord… starting in college….. I am sure my lackluster devotion would not have sustained me through this.

 I think  , Mr. Tomb-er,   you  would have choked me up in fear. You may have had the opportunity to get the best of me….

But, I am IN Christ. No matter what is thrown at me… He covers me! He is enough!

So, I say “Good Night “to you… may you sleep well….

Remember….tomorrow is coming!  (insert sinister laugh)

R.I.P  Tomb-er!

May you forever Rest in PIECES

“Just ME and my Lollipop”

621

 

Hello!

Thanks for coming back…. Life has been really crazy lately… Thanksgiving was ah-mazing! I loved having our sweet friends from Georgia at our house! I hope your turkey was plump and juicy, too!

Well, I get to share  a word or two of devotion  for chapel at our middle and high school campus…on Wednesday. The 6th through 12th graders will be there…and it is a perfect time to share some perspective!…. and yes… use lollipops! Yes… an unsuspecting “volunteer” will aid me and lick a lollipop as I read it..

I will speak of many things …. but  I will use a poem I wrote to drive home a point! I am sure , by the end, you will know the point…

Here it goes…

Just Me and My Lollipop

Lick, Lick, Lick…. What?

Can’t you see I am busy?

I am engrossed in this lollipop

and it  is engrossed  in me!

I don’t have time to see the world around…

this lollipop is my “LIFE”…. and we abound!

Closer and closer to the middle I’ll lick…

Finally, I’ll reach what, I think ,makes life tick!

So, I keep licking as the world passes me by….

I dare not look up…it might require that my” self” might have to die…

Die to myself and all that I hold DEAR!?!

All the pleasures and treasures , I know, are going to be, right in HERE!

Lick, lick, lick… What?

What did you say?

Whatever is in the middle will never stay?

It will only be here for just today?

I am missing the heart of what will really last.

I have to change my focus-one day this life will be in  the past.

It WAS just me and my lollipop

NOW, I have to stop-

Look up! Look Around!

God has HUGE plans I have found!

It is His will I want to taste!

Wow,  that lollipop was sure a waste!

I am hoping that whatever anyone is wishing …or working so hard for… is something that will have eternal value. We, including me… put so much emphasis on petty …trivial things… Having a brain tumor really helps put things into proper perspective..

 All of this that we hold dear… will one day be gone!  The relationships we have  and the love of Christ that we share… is what will last forever.

14 days till surgery! I am getting excited… anxious….peaceful…all at the same time. Let’s just say… I am ready!