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ANY WHERE but HEAR!!!

034Any Where But HEAR!!!

I want to go back to the BEACH! I want to run from tomorrow…. I want to close my eyes and lah…lah…lah…pretend “it” is NOT there… but , it doesn’t matter if I do that because I still hear it’s presence …and feel it’s tasty numbness…..

I just told my husband… I feel…. NUMB. I feel numb tonight because I am trying to be proactive in knowledge…proactive in my faith… and patient in timing. ((Sometimes the information on the computer is way…too much!))

BUT, I still wanna go back to the beach.  I still want to go back to a time when I had      NOO      idea…. I still ….. AUGH! How aggravating to fight with yourself! One minute… it is a GIFT…. the next… a GRIEF! ~    ….. I guess it could be…”oh, good grief!?!”

I have done some research today on the Official Acoustic Neuroma Site … ANA…. I even registered…. I have my own profile and I can email… join conversations… and…. Wahhhh Lahhhh…….. my brain tumor community just got smaller!

Well, since I can’t have my toes in the sand…. I can look forward to the day that I do… the surgery will be behind me…  (I can’t say I am not fearful … reading some of the post are REALLY disturbing)…. for now…. I will continue to TRUST!

One night I went walking… and the song “I Need a Miracle” by I think… 10th Avenue North….came on.   I had to stop…. I had to think….. “I am NOT the only one who needs a miracle here… There are people struggling with stuff that is unseen… personal… struggles…. I am sure there are a lot of people in the same boat I am ~ wishing to BE somewhere else… “it would all be better”… or would it?..

He is our present HELP in time of trouble! …………….. He is HERE!   HE is here for me…. He is here for you.

Anymore time I spend wishing…. will turn into a PITY PARTY…. I don’t want to go down that beach…I “Shore” don’t!  ha ha.. So, I will FIX my eyes on what is unseen…. for that is eternal. Shake off the sand and ride the WAVES of amazing GRACE!

Whew… I am so glad I have this blog….. it talked me out of a ….full fledged temper tantrum… pity, pouty party. Thanks for holding me accountable! See, this is when I feel the answers to your prayers… it keeps me out of Funky Town.

W~

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One Response

  • Praying for you, daily. Love you, Wanda-woman!!
    p.s. specifically, praying for you to steer clear of funky town while you’re in a holding period.

    Reply


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